Living Life UnscriptedFeb 13, 2022
When I look at the present moment of my life, AND I look backwards on my life I realize all the magic came from the unscripted moments. The years I had the unplanned plan. It is when I try to grip onto a plan, thinking I know better than the Divine that things go South. There is a certain grace in looking back and seeing that this whole fucking thing is really about what my soul came here to do and relaxing into what the Divine has in store for me. I truly and always continue to just let go into the mystery and stop trying to control things. And when I do, life turns out exactly as it was meant to. And I am here to inhabit it, with a few opinions I will admit. But the truth is, the more you try to control it, the more things go awry. I am so glad, what I thought the script was, is what did NOT happen. My script and plan (or lack of...as I am coming to realize I never really had one) would have been a shitshow. So in my teens and early twenties here is what I thought my plan was:
I wanted to be a Radio DJ/personality and/or a Journalist- communication and inspiration was always my thing, still is. But not how I thought it would be.
I thought I would NEVER leave the New Jersey/New York area. Apparently my Jersey Girl shizz was wanted in Colorado. You can take the girl out of Jersey, but never the Jersey out of the girl.
I thought I would marry a needy Italian guy who did not treat me well. But needy all the same,and I thought that was what I wanted...OM Gerd are you kidding me. I am so glad I woke up and said no to that.
So really, see how ridiculous living life on the script you are currently running can be?
Here is what actually happened:
I ended up in TeleCOMMUNICATIONS, and later the internet made it so I could be a journalist in a non-traditional way. Being in the corporate world + union job and some great mentors, and being in a diverse space....well that set the stage for a lot of the magic. Ultimately I was too much of a rebel who wanted to impact the world differently and I let. But I wouldn't trade it for the world, and it was completely accidental.
I left Jersey, with the needy Italian guy (that is a whole story in and of itself) ,also accidentally, he wasn't supposed to come here. That was the whole Fucking point of the move! Got to Colorado and kicked him to the curb, because really he wanted to marry his mother, and I wasn't that. And I didn't want that in a man. I wanted to be a woman unto herself, married to a man unto himself that comes together in what I now know is the Sacred Third. And that happened and he is my total opposite and my beloved, my absolute sacred partner, AND we challenge each other every day and we grew something TOGETHER. Most importantly what we grew was an amazing son.
I had an amazing career. And then it was time to leave it, not because I hated it but because it was time. It was time to be in Service to something bigger than myself. And that it is another 20 years story. Included realizing (and I still am as I prepare to send my Divine Child into the world) that Mother Hood is Sacred Work and our society has turned the most important job to shit and servitude, causing women to feel "less than" and "overwhelmed" no matter how much they do. Ladies it is time to lead the rebellion. You don't have to do anything at all, and yet you still creating in every moment. Own it. It is your birthright.
I am saying all of this because I am asking you to reflect on whether your life has gone according to script (and whose script it was) or if when you look back, the best parts were the unscripted and unplanned ones. If you are like me and chose to jump into the river of what the Universe presented to you and went with the current coupled with the great gift of discernment and choice?
I believe the best life is letting go of a plan AND yet having enough self-knowledge to discern what path to take when God/dess presents it to you. Which road will you take? And will you let your intuition reign supreme? Or someone else's story? I know that even as a young one, that only I could write my story, even when I didn't know the outcome. I have and will always be a "rebel" who writes and then lets go of her own script. How about you?
I would love to hear if you are living out the script of the life you thought you would lead, or created something else, and just relaxed into the flow.
Love and Light
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