Stop Trying So Damned Hard-Preventative Medicine for the Soul #3

May 01, 2021

Last week's Full Moon which was a Supermoon, and was an emotional one for me. My husband has been dealing with an injury and I had to care for him and some of the household duties that are usually his. There have been many times in my adult life, and I am sure yours as well, that things get intense and you only have the energy to do the "minimum" and for me that includes continuing the practices from the last two weeks. Slowing down, and spending time in silence. Those are non-negotiables, especially in difficult times. But last week (and the other times I have had to care for loved ones, or was sick or injured myself) made me pause and really ask the question:

How much is enough?

Many, not all of you are small business owners. Many of you, like me, have such a deep desire to share your gifts with the world, make an impact, AND make a living. You desire to do what you were born to do, your soul work. Some of us are doing it, correction ALL of us are doing it, but sometimes we don't know that we are, and so we keep working harder, striving, sometimes forcing something into being that is perhaps not meant for us. But one thing I came to realize over my years of doing deep inner spiritual work, is that no matter what I do to make a living if I am "conscious" about how I show up and what I am contributing, I am always doing my soul work. How could I not be? I believe in the saying "we are exactly where we are supposed to be."

Most clients come to me, in search of their purpose and their path. My response generally is "you can stop searching" you are already living your purpose, and the path is winding and changing all the time. There is not a straight line from point A to point B. In fact, there really isn't a point A or point B, there is no "end point" when suddenly you feel like you did it all and there is nothing else you would like to do that will bring you joy, peace, and happiness. We are always on a quest. Humans tend to get bored, so once we feel that sense of peace and joy, we embark on a new venture, because humans are explorers like that?

So then why do so many of us feel like we are not living it or something is missing? Well there can be many reasons for unhappiness and pain, and I can write many books on it, and there are libraries full of them. None of what I am saying is to diminish that, nor to tell you that you shouldn't have goals, dreams, aspirations, and want to grow physically, emotionally, or spiritually or in our work, whatever our work is. But what I can say for sure is we often miss the joy and magic that is right in front of us because we spend so much time and energy:

Trying too damned hard!

Trying hard to be perfect rather than excellent, trying too hard to be worthy instead of just showing up fully as who you are and in your magic, in flow rather than being something you are not. Or conversely, trying really hard to wear an invisibility cloak and not be noticed. In business trying to prove yourself over and over again to people who may never "see" or understand you, or become clients and customers. Trust me, one thing that really became clear for me last week, is that being in business can be just as much as a hamster wheel as working in the corporate world can be. I realized that for 20 years I have been trying really hard to prove my worthiness, to prove my value, to prove my wisdom (sometimes to myself even more than others) even more than I did in the corporate world. And I have made the conscious choice to say no to that from this point forward.

My soul and my Divine knows exactly what is right for me, my dharma has been written. And the same is true for you. And one thing I know (but my small Self doesn't always listen) is that the harder I push or force, the further I push that which I desire away from me. So I:


I surrender to my intuition and Inner Wisdom that always knows exactly the right next action without over-planning and over-scheduling and over-doing. I surrender to the Divine Will that supports me at all times and who is way more creative than I am. I surrender to being in flow and doing enough but not over-doing. I surrender to the beauty of life and the natural world, and I surrender to simplicity.

Surrendering is NOT the same as giving up, I want to be clear about that. Surrendering is finally saying no more to doing things that are not in your highest good, saying no to doing things that are not aligned with your soul's map. Surrendering is knowing how much is enough, and leaving the rest. Surrendering is showing up in your wisdom, in your magic, sharing it, and letting go of it being received in a certain way. It is also saying no to shiny objects designed to make you feel like you are not enough, or you don't know enough to make an impact, share your gifts, or make a living that sustains and nourishes you. It also means being in gratitude for everything you have in this moment even when it doesn't seem like much. AND at the same time being fully aware that there are people in this world that do not have what they need to survive above the bare minimum or much choice in their lives. It is actually for those people, that I chose to stop playing any sort of pity-party game, show up, do my work, and be as generous as I can possibly be.

So for this week, I invite you to journal on where you are "trying too hard" or trying to force things into being, what you are willing to surrender to so that you can actually show up fully, do your work in and for the world (which includes yourself) and be in reverence for this life we have been given. Use the previous week’s practices of slowing down and spending time in silence long enough to hear your Inner Voice and Big Self tell you exactly the right next action on your path.

Love and Light,



PS. I will be speaking to this more deeply, giving specific inquiries and practices, and share some wisdom bytes in particular for small business owners and my experience of trying to hard and shifting more to flow. Join me for the conversation in my private FB group.

Amused Woman Circle

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